Well, as heartbreaking as it is to write this, the PUPPs hives are back. And they are more widespread than they were before, although not yet as horrible in terms of redness or inflammation. I know it's PUPPs because they are exactly the same as they were when they started spreading initially, and the ones in the belly area are still contained to just within the stretch marks...weird and fascinating and hellishly maddening at the same time. I called Holly's office yesterday and she said she hasn't heard of PUPPs coming back this far out from delivery, although she has heard of it taking a while to go away. I suspect that despite the fact that mine went away almost immediately it never really cleared systemically, and it has just crept back up to the pronounced state it's in again. Nonetheless, she said this far out from delivery I should run it by my PCP and possibly see Derm...so that's what I'm doing today. Hopefully someone can give me something to try to make it go away for good - I'm open to a course of oral steroids or different topical steroids or whatever at this point as long as it's safe while breastfeeding, just whatever will make these hives GO AWAY.
I have had emotional and tearful moments on and off since Norah was born on account of post-partum hormone levels I'm sure, but last night I really was just devastated that this seems to be coming back. For whatever reason, the flare-ups are worse at night, and it also happens that Norah's fussy time is 9:30-12:00
PM. I just couldn't handle not really being able to discern what she needed to calm down and cope with my insane itching on my legs simultaneously and I just melted down. Poor Matt has been so strong for me when I have these moments of feeling helpless and pitiful, and he just reminded me that we're doing everything we can for Norah and we won't always be able to help her stop crying right away, but it doesn't mean we are not good parents. He also calmly reminded me as he did before to stop scratching and put something on my skin before I made a mess of my legs again. I don't know what I'd do without his calm, steady demeanor and his loving support. He has been just what I needed throughout the end of the pregnancy and these early weeks as parents, and I'm so grateful that he's so committed and involved and devoted to making our family happy and successful.
We will figure out what to do about this PUPPs sooner or later...I just hope it's the former! Until then, I just keep reminding myself to look at Norah and remember that she's perfect and it gets me through :) I mean, look at that face!