The Arrival of Norah Annabel Smith: Part One

*Of course this is the post the blog has been leading up to for 9 months, and I wanted to make sure that I wrote the story of her birth in a way that helps me remember the details.  That being said, it's likely that portions will be fairly descriptive and possibly graphic due to some of the circumstances that occurred.  I know that most friends and family reading this have already heard many of the details, but for others checking in I just wanted to clarify that I'm writing this as much for myself as for the blog so that I can process the event. It will be long, and hopefully not TMI for most of you :) *

Part 1 - Labor and Norah's Birth
April 25, 2:12 AM:

I woke from a sound sleep to the sensation that my water had broken, and got up to check and be sure...there was no doubt about it and I came back to bed to tell Matt that we're going to meet our daughter soon! I started timing contractions which began immediately after, and they ranged from 4-7 min apart and  lasted about 1:00 for a while.  Winnie (our cat) was up with me and totally knew something was going on, while Lainey (the dog) casually glanced at me on my way past her to the bathroom as if to say "I'm sleeping right here, please don't step on me" and promptly went back to sleep.  I told Matt to try and get some rest, as he had literally just turned out the light and gone to sleep just about 2!  

5:19 AM: Labor has definitely started! Nothing serious yet, but contractions are consistently about 5 min apart and getting slowly stronger.  I think we're going to have a birthday today (well...I hope it's today and not tomorrow!!)  I am able to manage the contractions mostly by sitting on an exercise ball and rocking side to side. I've had to have Matt help me focus on a few of them and he's a great support! 

7:41 AM: Called OB Triage as contractions are now about 3 min apart and have been for the past hour. I have had a few contractions that dropped me to my hands and knees and definitely feel the need to start making some noise to get through them.  There is no real way to be distracted through them at this point, and just have to focus on coping with each one.  Because my water had broken they asked me to come in and be checked and hopefully be admitted.  We scurried around and packed the last minute items we could think of, and we headed off to UM around 9:00.

At this point my times get a little less specific, but around 9:30 we got to the hospital and went up to triage. They got me hooked up to a fetal monitor to watch baby's heart rate and to follow my contractions, and paged the midwife on-call to come down and check me for a starting point.  A midwife student named Anouk was here studying from the Netherlands, and she was with us pretty much from triage through delivery.  I can't say enough how special it was to have her support throughout the process - she was truly wonderful and helped both Matt and myself tremendously.  It was like having a doula we hadn't planned for, and I seriously don't know how we would have made it through without her!  Kathy Bedikian was the CMN on-call for the day, and would be the one who delivered Norah.  She came down to triage, checked my cervix (was at a 4 cm dilation and 100% effaced) and confirmed that my water had broken.  I was set to be admitted!

We walked down with our nurse to our labor and delivery room - we got a room with a tub just like we wanted which was a godsend - and got settled in.    Because I was still sort of in between early and active labor, they let me order a breakfast tray and try to eat a little since I'd been up since 2:00 without much to eat.  I got Fruit Loops, some yogurt and fruit, but by the time it arrived I didn't end up eating much of it because I started throwing up - this was probably  about 11:00.  Matt helped me labor through contractions by putting counter pressure on my back.  Things started to pick up, and looking back I think this is when transition really began - I did put together that throwing up is usually a good sign that the cervix is dilating quickly.  I was starting to have difficulty finding anything that would work to help me cope, and Matt asked if it was time to get in the tub. I said yes! Matt ran water in the tub and I think I was in the water by 11:30 or so. I won't say laboring in the water took the pain away, by any means, but it was more manageable and I spent probably close to the next 4 hours in the tub.  

Transition contractions were SO much more intense than I could have imagined.  They would peak and barely come down before another one would start, and I really had a hard time catching my breath at this point.  I was trying to breathe in my nose and out my mouth, but I needed pretty much constant breathing support from Matt and Anouk to help me through.  Probably about 1:15 I realized that my body was starting to push at the top of the contractions, whether I intended it to or not.  Anouk called Kathy to come down and check me, and although it probably only took her 5 minutes to get there it felt like forever! She checked me and said I was a 9.5 - I remember asking her if she could please, please make it 10? And she must have been able to stretch the last tiny bit, because she said I could just go ahead and push.  This was such relief for a while, because my contractions spaced out and I actually had a break in between them again.  Pushing was really hard work, but for the first hour or so it was actually a nice change from transition.  By the end of the second hour of pushing in the tub though, I was getting really, really tired and discouraged and felt that I wasn't making any progress.  They all assured me I was, but I just needed a change and so we got out of the tub and moved to the bed.  I was disappointed because I had wanted to have a water birth and didn't think I wanted to be on the bed, and I cried while walking over.  Didn't have time to think about it for long, and got busy pushing again right away!  I tried several different positions to push on the bed, and finally started to feel like I was doing something each time.  They asked if I wanted a mirror, which I swore beforehand I would not want, but it actually helped a ton for me to see what was going on.  

This last stage of pushing was probably the second worst part of labor along with transition.  Kathy felt that her head was slightly turned to the side, and she used her hands to slowly rotate with each push for a while.  Once Norah's head clicked into position, she really moved down and started crowning.  Once she started crowning, it took about 20-25 minutes more before she was born...and without any pain medication or numbing...that's a really long time to crown! I had the nurses and midwives laughing at one point because I kept saying "This.Is.BEASTLY"!  I could clearly see that she was so close to being born, and yet no matter how hard I tried she just moved so slowly each time.  It ended up being a good thing, because when she was finally born at 4:22, I really had no tearing and no need for an episiotomy.  Kathy handed her to me once her shoulders were out, and I pulled her up onto my chest.  She was perfect, and from the second I had her she was holding her head up looking around the room.  Matt was amazing, and he was right there by my side every minute.  We let her rest on my chest skin to skin and waited for her cord to stop pulsing before Matt cut it.  He didn't think he'd want to, but when it was time he was ready!  Her Apgar scores were 9 and 9, and she weighed in at 9 lbs 1.9 oz, and 21 1/4" long!  Matt asked Kathy and the nurses if they played a little guessing game for how big the babies would be and they said they totally do! When I checked in at triage, Kathy thought Norah would be about 7.5 lbs, and after a long while of pushing she said she was going to have to change her guess, but even then she couldn't have predicted how big she was! She laughed that they were all off by 2 lbs!!

Our care team was incredible - Kathy was absolutely wonderful and even though I had never met her she was exactly the kind of midwife we ended up needing.  She was supportive when I would get discouraged, and reminded me that what I was doing was hard work but totally within the normal range for a first baby.  When I was really in pain, she would stroke my hair or rub my leg, and remind me that it was all helping me get closer to meeting my baby.  And Anouk, who was there by our sides the whole way...she got us through the toughest part of transition and was a tremendous support to both of us when we needed it the most.  Right after the birth, she brought us a baby hat that the students from the Netherlands had purchased as a fundraiser for supporting healthy babies in Sierra Leone - it was really special to have that from her.  The day we were going home, she also came by and brought us a pair of knitted booties that her grandmother made for her to give to all the babies she helped deliver...it brought tears to my eyes and those will always be a special reminder to us of the care and support we received that day.

Relief, Amazement, Bliss

Our first family photo

Sweetest moment

How on Earth did I have a 9 lb baby? 

(Photo taken on 4/27 before going home)

Happy Easter Sunday...too bad the Easter Bunny skipped our house!

That Easter Bunny is tricky...we were hoping for a little Easter basket surprise with our very own jelly bean birthday today.  However, it looks like that ol' hare was busy at other houses this time, since there is still no sign that baby Smith wants to join us today.  Not that I'm counting (OK, I am) but she's now 3 days "late" and I'm getting antsy!  Of course, I know that due dates truly range up to a month, with the specified date falling in the middle, but really once you get past that date it all seems unfair to keep waiting!

I read the report from our Non-Stress test on Thursday, and she's doing just fine in there, thank you.  She is moving, responding and thriving just as she should be.  The amniotic fluid level is within range, and her heartrate is solid with a baseline in the 130s.  It was disappointing to read "Contractions: None" - would have been nice to see the monitor picking up activity I wasn't aware of, but no dice. We could see her little lips sucking away, swallowing fluid, and practicing for the outside world.  It was really cute! Now come out already!  We're scheduled for another test next Thursday, at 41 Weeks, if she's not here before that.

Matt and I get daily texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, emails etc. asking how I'm doing, how am I feeling, any signs yet, any contractions, when is that baby going to get here?  I know everyone is excited as we are and wants to let us know they are thinking of us, but every day when I have to respond "No, nothing yet. We promise to keep you posted." it reminds me that I'm still pregnant and we haven't met our girl yet.  I also love that many of the other pregnant ladies I know, some with due dates after mine, have delivered and are spending this beautiful weekend with their babies in arms, and I'm tromping about hauling my giant self around trying to walk her out of me!  We went for an hour long hike in the woods yesterday, and hopefully will go again today to enjoy the weather...hoping it will be a birthday inspiring one today!

On the bright side, I'm going to tempt fate and say that the PUPPs rash is doing a bit better.  The hives on my palms, wrists, finger webbing, and belly seem to have more or less dissipated.  The skin there is now really dry and still somewhat itchy, but at least not welty.  My legs, according to my dear and loving husband (said in the most caring and supportive of ways, of course) still look like the topography of the moon.  I do mean that when I say he's been caring and supportive - I could not, honest to God, have gotten through the past week without his help and support.  My legs are not as inflamed, but do still itch pretty frequently.  I've been more or less able to sleep through the night spared from the "Itch Crises" that make me cry for the past 4 nights or so, but I'm now getting to the point where my joints ache and my muscles hurt and I'm waking several times at night for those late-pregnancy related reasons.  It's really just time for her to come out! My belly is stretched, my body is sore, my stamina is wearing thin, and Mama and Daddy just want to meet our baby and start falling in love with her rather than cursing her stubbornness already!

By the way, she will be a Taurus, the Ram, the most stubborn of the Zodiac :) Yeah, we already guessed that!

40 Weeks, EDD, Full Term, Fully Baked or, AFTER TODAY CHILD YOU ARE LATE

Today is it...your due date little tater.  April 21st, the day we've been charging towards for months.  Will you be one of the 3-5% of babies born on your EDD?  I'm guessing probably not based on today's exam, but there are still 12 hours left in this day! Holly checked things out again, and not surprisingly there is not much "progress" since last week in terms of dilation or effacement...however still looking good that this could happen on its own soon.  She did do a second membrane stripping, so maybe it will work this time.  We talked more about induction options and she answered some of my questions and explained their protocols a little better. I feel like if we end up needing induction for medical reasons or for reaching 42 weeks, I will be less anxious about it and more able to make that decision than I was last weekend.  She also did a second Group B Strep test because my "old" one expires next week, so if I still haven't delivered by 4/28 it would be outdated and we'd have to look at it like I had never been tested...here's hoping it's still negative! 

Since I have Gestational Diabetes, I have to start having "non-stress tests" twice weekly now that I'm at 40 weeks until she's born to check her vital signs and reactivity.  Basically, I go to the perinatal assessment center and get hooked up to monitors for 20-30 minutes and they watch her movement, monitor any contraction activity, and her heart rate to make sure she's responding to movement and "stress" adequately to endure the labor process.  They also will do an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels and I'm guessing they'll take a look at her position, and then most likely send us home to wait some more :) So we have that at 3:00 today.  

The PUPPs rash is still raging, but there are spots that it seems to be improving.  It's pretty much gone from my belly (thank goodness) but my legs are a terrible mess still.

Not the best pic, off my phone, but this is the back of one of my legs - the hives have all just run together now and form one giant "plaque" - I have patches like this everywhere.

My palms and fingers get pretty crazy itchy at times, but other times they are OK.  I blessedly don't seem to have it on my upper torso, back, face, or really on my arms other than a few renegade spots, so I'm hoping like hell it stays that way.  Last night was the first night in many that I didn't wake up in a full blown "Itch Crisis" that tore me from a sound sleep, although I still only got about 4 hours of sleep total.  After reading just about everything online available about treating PUPPs (at least the symptoms) I have developed quite the arsenal, and I think maybe some part of it is working.  Here's my daily plan of attack (family and friends, feel free to skip this part if it's not interesting to you! I thought I'd include it in case someone reading this found my blog online, and hopefully it's helpful to someone else):

• 3 Dandelion Root capsules 3X/daily - to "cleanse" the liver of bile salt build up...I'm on day 6 and I think it might be helping
• 1 T. flaxseed oil - started yesterday, also to "cleanse" the liver
• Triamcinolone prescription steroid ointment up to 3X/daily 
• Washing my skin with "Selsun Blue" dandruff shampoo (1% Selenium Sulfide) - just came up with this one on my own, but it seems to help some with the itching
• Tea Tree Oil and Arnica Oil applied topically after bathing/showering - I honestly think this is helping the most to dry out the rash. The TTO has a pretty strong smell, just beware!  
• Soaking in a warm (not hot!) bath with either Aveeno Oatmeal packets or Epsom Salts at least once/daily
• Alternating prescription Atarax or Benadryl 50 mg at night before bed to knock me the hell out so I can sleep - not sure it helps much with the itching but at least I can close my eyes for a while

Then there is the array of other topical applications that I rotate to help with mini "Itch Crises" during the day time (they seem to be more manageable than the middle of the night ones).  I've found using one thing repeatedly seems to lose its effectiveness, so I mix it up between: Sarna Lotion (smells like a Grandpa, but does cool and take the itch away for a while), Aloe with Lidocaine, Band Aid brand Itch Relief Gel (camphor is the main ingredient, and this works really well but my tube is almost empty and our Rite Aid doesn't carry it, so I'm sparingly using it for emergencies), California Baby brand Diaper Rash Cream (the zinc oxide apparently helps, and the lotion rubs in better than other mainstream brands like Desitin, so I'm not a white pasty mess).  I have an array of other things I've tried that have been cast aside (Ivy Dry, Calendula Gel, Aveeno Baby lotion, Gold Bond Medicated powder) but some find those to be helpful, too.  I found this website to be a really comprehensive list of things to try so if you're out there dealing with PUPPs and haven't found it yet, take a look: http://www.naomikritzer.com/motherhood/PUPPP.shtml

Whew...so PUPPs drama aside, we're just waiting for you little one! Here's what mama looks like today after 4 hours of sleep: 

The belly is RIDIC! It's like this whole other part of me at this point - it doesn't even feel like an extension of me anymore...it feels like this whole separate entity strapped on to the front...it looks unreal without clothes on!!  I'm up 5 lbs in 2 weeks according the doctor's scale...which is a little frightening but whatever. I think at least one of those lbs has to be water because I'm so swollen from this rash everywhere.  That has my total weight gain at 22 lbs.  More than I would have liked, but still within recommended guidelines, so I guess I can't complain.  Maybe managing the GD with a tightly controlled diet helped keep my weight gain in check, and that's certainly not a bad thing! 

We will keep you all up to date as usual if anything changes (IF! Ha...WHEN...I mean there are only a maximum of 14 days left from today, so it's a matter of when, right?).  Hoping to have news very soon :) C'mon Tater Tot...the world is waiting for you! 

Postponed Induction for tonight

So I felt in my gut that I just wasn't set on having an induction tonight...despite this miserable rash and lack of sleep, I just felt that inducing for a non-medical reason wasn't the way I wanted this to go, at least not yet.  I may still end up being induced in order to get her here, but for now I'm going to try and get through each day at a time and hopefully she'll make her debut very soon, on her own accord. I was weighing the pros and cons of induction, and the potential for a cascade of interventions just won out as the reason not to do this yet.  The other was the thought of an IV taped to my itchy skin and continuous fetal monitors strapped to my belly for the duration of labor...on top of these horrid welts? No.thank.you.

As much as I am ready, ready, ready to meet our girl, I don't want to force her into this world for what might only be a few extra days of this rash.  I have a different prescription for the itching to go pick up today (Atarax) and with Matt's help we are doing our best to distract me when the welts flare up a few times a day.  I figure it's good practice for labor coaching for him anyway, and he's doing a great job! I'm also trying Dandelion Root which I've found online to be a remedy that some have found works from the inside out to help cleanse the liver where the bile salts build up, causing the ensuing rash. I figure it's not going to hurt anything, and it just might help in a few days, so why not try?

We'll be sure to keep everyone up to date when something does change, but for now, no baby news tonight. Maybe she'll decide tonight's her night anyway!! Thank you for all the thoughts and support - it's been so helpful as the past week has really been a challenge.

39 Week Update

Had our 39 week exam today with Holly, and things with baby look great. Her heart rate is steady in the 150s where it should be, and her position is mostly favorable for delivery - she's head down and seems to be sort of sideways facing the left right now.  Her head is low, about a 0-station, so engaged in the pelvis which is also good news! My cervical check showed about 80% effacement and a fingertip to 2cm dilated, with soft and stretchy tissue.  Because the PUPPS rash has gotten worse over the past few days and is impacting pretty much all of my sleeping and waking hours negatively, we discussed possible induction this weekend.  She said that they calculate a score called a Bishop Score to note how "favorable" conditions are for a successful induction, and she said my score was "high" but didn't give me an exact value.  Basically, she felt that my cervical status (haha) was such that it would likely respond to induction and have a higher likelihood of vaginal delivery.  I could try a round of steroids first for the rash, but neither Holly nor I felt that at this point that made much sense. I'd rather not put myself and baby through the side-effects of steroids when we could just get her out and solve the problem.  The rash won't necessarily go away immediately, and could take days to weeks to get totally better, but it will begin to improve following delivery.  Holly swept my membranes today as well, which could get labor going within 24 hours, but is certainly no guarantee.  That was about 7 hours ago now, and I have to say I haven't noticed much change, perhaps a few more contractions that typical, but nothing consistent.  So, we wait and see.  Depending on scheduling at the hospital, we could get in for an induction Saturday or maybe Sunday, but Holly was going to give us a call and follow up.  She's not on call until next Tuesday, so it's unlikely she'll be the one there for delivery unless I hold out until then for induction.  Keeping in mind that Monday is a Full Moon, and it's bound to be crazy full on L&D Monday and Tuesday!

I'm doing my best to weigh my options, and I'm not 100% sold on induction just for the selfish reason of resolving my discomfort from this rash.  It could go great and I could end up having a vaginal delivery with no additional interventions, or my body could just not be ready and I could end up not making enough progress and have a c-section.  Or the Pitocin induced labor could be so intense that I end up with an epidural way early, can't feel well enough to push effectively, and end up with a vacuum delivery.  Are those risks worth avoiding a few extra days of intense itchiness?   I don't know.  Of course, there's still no guarantee that she'll come on her own even after her due date, and I might end up facing induction then, too. As far as the actual induction goes, I'd still be followed by the midwives for delivery, but would obviously need an IV and have continuous fetal monitoring.  Holly said the rooms have telemetry monitors, so I could at least walk around and not have wires tied to the monitor, and they are waterproof so I could still labor in the water for pain relief, either the tub or shower.  I'm leaning towards going ahead with the induction this weekend if she doesn't spontaneously decide to arrive tonight or tomorrow, and just see how it goes, because nearly every inch of my skin is covered with itchy welts at this point (my face and back and upper torso are saved so far...) and it's not going to get better the more I wait.

So tonight and tomorrow I will just keep talking to this little lady and encouraging her to come out on her own...surely it will be better out here than in there, I'm trying to convince her ;) Send your happy, spontaneous labor thoughts our way! We'll be sure to update everyone if anything changes, of course!

Biding my time

Well, I'm officially on day 4 of "maternity leave" although right now it's just "me leave" since I'm still not a mama...even though I'm thisclose.  Baby is just holding out it seems, stringing everyone along to get as close to her due date as possible.  10 days left until that date that has been looming for 40 weeks arrives, and with it either a baby or not...we'll all just have to wait and see what she decides.  I hope that she is able to choose her own birthday without being coerced to join us by chemical hormone induction...but I guess time will tell.

So, what am I doing with myself while I sit and wait, wait, wait?  Well, the first two days were pretty much that - sitting, and waiting - and it made me a little crazy.  I decided I need some things to occupy my time, even if they aren't major tasks.  Baby stuff is pretty much ready - the nursery is set up, her clothes and diapers are ready, her gear awaits her tiny body.  In another life, I might have attempted to pre-make baby announcements by hand and pre-address/stamp envelopes until she is here, and then we could tack a picture on and send 'em out...but I'm thinking Shutterfly has just what we'll need and I am perfectly happy with that! However, I have been working on scrapbooking my friend Abby's wedding album that was promised to her as a gift nearly 5 years ago...and has been sitting in a well-intentioned to-do pile for that long.  I've had a sudden burst of creativity and I feel good about the pages I'm turning out! I'm happy to be working on something for someone else right now, too, because I know that once our little girl arrives, she will be the only someone else who will be getting my undivided attention for a while.

At this point, the one thing that has increased my overall discomfort the most is this rash...I'm 95% sure it's PUPPs - Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy.  It sounds nasty, and it is.  It's basically itchy welts that start within stretch marks most commonly on the lower abdomen during the 3rd trimester, and often spread to arms, legs, hands, and feet. The only real treatment for it is delivery...and symptoms vary in their ability to be managed with topical creams/ointments, oral antihistamines, or steroids. I do not want to take steroids at this point being so close to delivery and hopefully the end of this madness, so I'm just hanging out with my itchy welts and taking Benadryl as often as allowed, while icing and slathering and oatmeal bathing and any other means of managing the head to toe itchies that seems to help at a given time.  Such joys, pregnancy.

On a sunnier note, the weather seems to have finally settled on spring in Southeast Michigan.  It was a warm 82 degrees here on Sunday, followed by some awesome midnight thunderstorms that have brought green to the grass and blooms to the crocus and iris shoots.  While I don't think temperatures like that are quite here to stay, our 10-day forecast seems to favor highs in the 50s-60s, which is definitely acceptable!  The geese seem to have returned as well, and I'm sure we'll soon be seeing little goslings trotting along behind their parents.  Here's what it looks like out in our garden today: 

Yellow Crocus

Miniature Iris

Cute little sprouts...not sure what these are

Matt and I are off to the theater to catch a movie in a little while, and I'm enjoying just spending some time together while it's still just "the two of us".  Who knows...many mamas that I've talked to said they were in the theater at a movie when their labor started/picked up...so maybe it's a good luck charm to get things going! No matter what, it will be nice to get out together on one of what may be our last outings without any baby baggage (other than the load I'm carrying around the front!). 

  

38 Weeks - 14 days left until our due date!

Today marks 38 weeks...14 days away from that date that we've been heading towards since those two pink lines showed up last August.  It's crazy to me to think that literally any day will be the day we begin counting how many weeks old our tiny daughter is, rather than how many weeks along (read:HUGE) her mama is! She could be born tomorrow, or she could be born in 3 weeks, but at the very least we know it's really only a matter of days until we are holding her in our arms instead of chasing her feet around my belly from the outside.  We had a visit with our midwife today to check things out and she said due to the diabetes, we'll start having non-stress tests at 40 weeks until she is born.  If we want, at that point they will talk about various methods for induction if she's not born by 41 weeks.   While I'd prefer to hold off on a full-on Pitocin induction, there are plenty of more "natural" ways to try and jump start labor if need be.  Today, Holly said baby's head has moved down some, I'm still about 50% effaced, and currently about 1cm dilated - that all sounds just right for 38 weeks to me! Holly and her student will both be on call at the hospital next Tuesday 4/12, so I've had a little chat with baby and have encouraged her to think about being born then ;) She's got about 5 days to get in gear and move along! Haha...if only I could choose! However, 4/12 has been my mom's guess for the birthday and she's sticking to it, so we'll see if she's right!  We reviewed the birth plan with Holly, and I am hopeful that by and large we'll have our preferences fall into place with a normal, uncomplicated and unmedicated delivery.

On our way home, we stopped by a local shop in Dexter (Christine's) that has some of the cutest things for babies and kids, and Matt picked out his girl's going home outfit :) Here's a little peek:

The little crochet details are so sweet, and you would not believe how soft this cotton is! I can't wait to see her tiny self scrunched into this sweetness :) 

Aside from the insanity of the itchy belly (which has continued to my dismay), there's not much that has changed for me in the past week.  I'm a tad bigger, slightly more uncomfortable but not terribly so, and feeling mostly prepared for this part to end and the next phase to begin.  I am done with work after tomorrow, and I'm so glad to work for a place where I have the option to be home until she arrives without penalty or being forced to take excess PTO.   I will miss my friends at work, but I'm ready to spend time in our "nest" with Matt and hopefully have at least a few days to ourselves as we get ready for the best and biggest change in our lives.  Maybe before my next weekly post I will have a better update to share! 

:::

And here we are at 38 weeks + 4 days

It's really quite lovely that none of my shirts cover the bottom of the belly anymore! I'd say she's grown since last week - here is 37 weeks + 3 days for comparison: 

Updates to come as there are some :) 

37 Weeks + 3 days

We have officially hit the "Full Term" marker - baby can safely be born any time now with little likelihood of long term health issues! It's a relief to have made it to this point, and also to know that one way or another she will be here in a matter of weeks!

What's going on with me this week?  Previous post pretty much sums it up: discomfort.  My belly is stretched to the max, and my skin is not happy about it.  Stretch marks alone have given way to stretch marks underneath a layer of hives off and on throughout the day/night.  I went to the Natural View Market in Brighton today to look for some homeopathic remedies to try, and got some calendula gel to put on which seems to help at least temporarily relieve the itchies.  So far the hives are isolated pretty much to within the stretch marks themselves, which is odd, but at least they haven't spread to other parts of my skin (*fingers crossed!).  Baby is still growing every day, but I'm not so much uncomfortable from her size alone unless she decides to stretch her legs all the way out! I think she's dropped some, because it's a tad easier to breathe now than it had been - hooray for that!  Otherwise, I don't really have any changes or intuition that she's planning to make her debut in the next few days.  I think she's comfy in there for another few weeks.  I'm thinking it may be sometime within the week up to her due date, perhaps around the 16th-17th if I had to venture a guess.  Of course, those dates will probably pass without a hint of change, and she'll be a 42 weeker, but I don't wanna talk about it right now :)

Here's the belly this week:

I have a major to-do list to tackle, but somehow the urgency hasn't set in yet and there's really still a lot to get done around here! Most importantly, we haven't started packing a hospital bag yet.  I know when labor starts we'll likely have plenty of time to gather things up if it isn't done, but it would definitely make Matt feel better to have that at least started!  That's my goal for tomorrow :) Perhaps if I make the list public I'll be more likely to cross things off (I like to include some things I've already accomplished, too, just to feel better):

- Pack hospital bag

- Write out birth plan somewhere other than in my journal (although if that doesn't happen, I can always bring the journal, I guess)

- Clean living room and put away laundry that has been sitting in baskets for weeks

- Finish re-arranging our bedroom so that I can actually get in and out of bed with the co-sleeper on my side (that's made midnight bathroom trips interesting lately!)

- Vacuum pet hair tumbleweeds from all corners of the house...repeat

- Attach safety straps for co-sleeper under our mattress so that it can be safely used when we bring her home

- Call pediatrician's office to make sure they are accepting new patients - they are :) 

- Install car seat base and put seat in car - better to have it sit there than on the living room floor, right?

- Hang last few decorative items on nursery walls

- Cook/prepare meals that can be frozen for the first few weeks at home

- Finish sewing binding on blanket I started

- Find out we need to replace all 4 tires on the car unexpectedly after having a flat on Friday

- Finish our childbirth education class  

- Wrap up at work this week - last day is Friday April 8!

I know there's more, but that's what comes to mind at the moment.  Baby prep is pretty much done though - diapers are washed and ready for when our disposable stash runs out, clothes are washed and ready for her cute little self to fill, items like the swing and bouncer are assembled. The room is essentially complete, save for a few things to go up on the walls.  See?

Wall collage - not sure if I posted this already on here

Crib skirt done, fabric bunting done (don't worry, it won't stay hanging on her crib as a strangulation hazard - it will be hung on the wall before she sleeps there!)

View from the doorway (changing table no longer has random boxes and tools sitting on it either)

DIY Crib skirt, bunting off crib

Fabric bunting hung on the wall 

Anyway, things are pretty much a go over here - so baby girl can get her groove on any time she feels like it! I'm ready to meet her, I know that much! 

Stretch Marks

This is totally going to be a flat out whiney-ass post about how much I HATE stretch marks...feel free not to read any further if my "I'm pregnant and feel that is my ticket to whine about how much this state of being has come to suck, even though I clearly asked for it and knew what was coming" will just annoy you :)

I'm well aware that at least 50% of pregnant women get stretch marks somewhere on their bodies during their pregnancy...I know many women will swear they love theirs because they are a "badge of motherhood" and a reminder of what they went through to have their beautiful children.  I know they tend to fade with time (I've had other stretch marks from growth spurts earlier in life, and yes, they've faded to nearly invisible in most places).  But none of that makes me want to love what I see when I look at my belly these past 2 weeks...right about 35 weeks a few small, light purplish marks started to show up under my belly button.  I was hopeful that would be all and I would escape the last trudge of the pregnancy without any more.  That went right out the window the next day when a few more showed up, and the next day, and the next day...I couldn't even count how many there are now, or even accurately describe the intensity of the reddish-purple hue they have taken on.  They are all still below the belly button and above the underwear line, mostly just in the middle third of the belly, but there are so many and frankly, the second most obnoxious thing is how uncomfortable they are! No one tells you that the process of your skin stretching to the point of literally tearing from the inside is terribly unpleasant, and you will go between scratching the living shit out of the epidermis and wanting to cry because it feels like fire ants are gnawing their way out from under your skin.  And then, you look in the mirror at the hot mess you've just made of your already fire-engine red belly, and realize there is no way this is ever going back to how it was, no matter what creams, oils, rubs, or laser treatment you decide is appropriate (for the record, I think laser is probably out of our price range, so I'll inevitably spend at least half of what that would end up costing trying every other cream, oil, rub etc that claims to reduce the appearance of stretch marks and still end up mostly dissatisfied. At least my behavior is predictable!).  I'm normally a person with pretty solid self esteem, and I've gotten to the point of not utterly hating parts of my body as I did in high school...but this is challenging my reserves, friends.  It's not even like I plan on wearing a full out bikini, probably ever, anyway, but it doesn't change what it looks like when I saunter past the mirror getting dressed every day.  I honestly have loved my pregnant body and have felt good in my skin (so to speak) until the end here, and now I'm just uncomfortable and my skin is buckling under the pressure to the point that the marks are almost raised they are so deep.  If this child is not born by her due date and continues to grow, I'm afraid my belly is going to burst like an over-ripe heirloom tomato and start to go bad...and we just don't want that.

So, basically what that was all about is reminding my sweet darling daughter that it's ok for her to make her entrance any time now that I am full term.  And I'll do my best not to flash her my scarred abdomen in an effort to show her how much I love her and what I went through for her when she is 16 and informs me that she hates me ;)

And scene.

36 Weeks - nearly Full Term

With one month until our scheduled due date, baby is getting herself ready just as we are getting ready to meet her.  We had our last ultrasound on Thursday, and confirmed several key things; that she is head down and in good position for labor/delivery, that the placenta previa is now completely resolved and no longer even considered low lying, and her growth is on track and does not appear to be excessive due to the Gestational Diabetes! It was a positive u/s indeed.  Her weight was estimated to be 6lbs 1oz which is in the 39th percentile for her gestational age, and they estimate that she gains about an oz a day now, or about 1/2 a lb each week.  That would have her on track to be approximately 8 lbs at delivery if she came at her due date, but of course it's all an estimate and those can be off by up to 2 lbs anyway at this point...but usually not in the direction of her being much larger than they anticipate. So, yay! I also had my Group B strep test this week, and just checked to see that it is negative, so no pre-delivery antibiotics needed during labor for me (at least not for that reason)!  Here we are this week:

I feel like with all of the minor complications and stresses that have made the second half of this pregnancy feel more "eventful" than I anticipated, things are finally settling into place for the real home stretch.  I feel peaceful about what my body is doing to prepare for her arrival, and I feel confident that from this point things will hopefully progress in a typical, uncomplicated fashion.  Of course, I'm aware and open to the fact that none of this is really predictable and anything can happen still, but I'm at least at peace that my body has carried her this far, I'm mostly healthy and she looks stellar.  I trust that my body will continue to do what it needs to in order to bring her all the way into this world just as healthy and vivacious as I already feel she is.    

We had one of two sessions of our Childbirth Education series today, and I'm really glad we chose this class.  It's through the Center for the Childbearing Year in Ann Arbor, and I felt that the instructor really made a comfortable environment in which to discuss the natural process and the beginning essentials to developing a variety of coping strategies for labor.   I think that prep classes can feel like a chore, especially for the partner, but I think Matt and I both got a lot out of the class today, and there was just enough information to make him feel more comfortable with the process but not so much as to overwhelm him.  We practiced a few distraction and relaxation techniques, and I feel really confident that as a couple we will be able to do this "naturally" as we hope for.  I trust Matt to be there and provide what I need in terms of physical and emotional support, and I know that he trusts me and my body to do what it needs to do.  Together I hope we can support one another - it is my feeling that the husband needs to feel that he is part of the process of bringing this life into the world, too, and they need our support for that as well.

This leads me to my thoughts on our "Birth Plan".  Hang on...I feel like this might get lengthy! I've sort of always been one to think that a birth plan that is too rigid in any direction can be detrimental to labor, because it's not always a linear, predictable process and there are many circumstances that may be out of my control, so trying to write out exactly how I want things to go down may be counterproductive.  That being said, there are some things that I do want to try to encourage, and want our support team to be aware of.  I think the UM Midwives will all be supportive and probably very much in line with the kinds of things we would ask for, but I do think it will be helpful to discuss our thoughts with Holly beforehand.  In an ideal world, my labor will be under 12 hours and will start and progress on its own without Pitocin, I will have no problem coping with the intensity of it and therefore won't need medical interventions for pain control, baby will have a steady, strong heartbeat and will never be in distress and we won't need continuous fetal monitoring, I won't have any need for antibiotics or other IVs, and I will deliver her vaginally (possibly in the tub) without an episiotomy or tearing.  Haha! I know, right?  Of course, there are so many times when it just may not go like that, and I understand that.  I chose to have a hospital birth, because I know all too well that sometimes medical intervention is not only available but is the safest, smartest and most appropriate thing to do for baby and mom alike.  And if our care providers tell us something needs to happen, now, or one of us will be unsafe, then I will absolutely 100% accept that is what we'll do.  I also feel that being unpredictable, labor may not be what I anticipate, and I may decide at some point that the solutions and strategies for coping that we have up our sleeve are no longer effective enough, and I may invite certain medical interventions then, too.

I think the things that are most important to me as far as a "Plan" are the following:
- I want to be supported in my desire to attempt a "natural" delivery for as long as I feel that is a realistic goal
- Matt is my primary support person and the person in this world (and especially in the pregnancy) who knows me most intimately, and if I have trouble verbalizing my own needs or desires to other members of the care team at a given time, that they can listen to him for guidance about what we want
- I want the environment to be as calm and supportive as it can be under whatever circumstances arise
- I want interventions which may become necessary to be explained to me and offered to me in such a way that both Matt and I understand what is happening, and why it has become a necessity

Then of course, are all of the potential procedures/interventions/post-partum decisions and such that I will also outline my preferences about, but I feel that those are much more going to be decided during the moment anyway, and not always things anyone plans to have and writes into their Birth Plan (why yes, I'd like to plan for an episiotomy, thank you.  I'd also like to plan for a forceps or vacuum delivery, etc).  I mean, of course I'd like to avoid all of those things! But understanding that they exist because of medical necessity at times, and if our labor/delivery requires them, they are available.

All in all, I'm planning for a peaceful, natural, normal delivery and understanding that together Matt and I can make that happen as much as anyone can control that. If things go off track, we will accept them together and move ahead with whatever needs to happen.  We are getting so excited to meet our daughter, and I feel confident that we can bring her into this world together! Ok, that's enough on that, if you've even made it this far :)

Maternity Photos

We had our professional maternity photos taken on St. Patrick's Day, and Matt went along for the ride to make me happy! I'm quite pleased with how they turned out, and think we have a few really nice shots to choose from.  If you'd like to take a look, here's the link to the gallery:

http://lmd-photography.smugmug.com/  - our gallery is, appropriately, Tanya and Matt, no password.

I'll work on getting my 36 week post up for you all this weekend, but probably not until Sunday.  We have our first of two classes tomorrow for the all-important Childbirth Prep information, so theoretically little lady can wait until after next weekend when we have the second class to make her debut, and then at the very least the info will be fresh! After that, all systems are go in my book ;) We put the Pack & Play together tonight, and will set up the swing/bouncer soon as well.  We're ready for you, when you and your brain/lungs are ready for the world little girl - wait at least 2 more weeks and then it's go time!

More to come this weekend!

35 Weeks - Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today is St. Paddy's Day, and along with the Luck o' the Irish came 65 degrees and sunshine! It's such a beautiful day outside, and it just feels like a breath of fresh air was so needed for everyone.  People are out in droves with kids and dogs, (and of course celebrators are out to drink green beer too) and you can just tell the region was in need of something to break the cabin fever.

We did our maternity photos today, and it was great! I'm so excited to see them, and I think Linda did a really great job. We went with Linda Michele-Dobel Photography, and she's in Brighton.  We walked around downtown and found cool little niches and benches and brick walls to shoot against.  Then we went back to her studio and did some there as well.  Can't wait to see how they turned out, and we'll be sure to share when we get them!

Today I'm 35 weeks - 35 days to go until the due date! Crazy to think anywhere in the span of the next month we could meet our daughter! She's pretty much developed at this point, and except for getting a little extra oomph to her lungs, her main job is to gain weight - about a half a pound a week now! I don't know where she's going to find room for that, but I guess we'll find out :) It seems she still hasn't "dropped" and there are no other signs yet of any imminent changes that she'll be arriving quite soon, but hopefully she'll decide to show up at least by her due date :)

I'm feeling much better today and none of the weird symptoms from yesterday are lingering.  Baby and I seem to be doing fine all in all, and so we'll just keep waiting for the next thing! Today's project (if we get to it) is to cut out the pattern and fabric pieces for the crib skirt, and then I can work on sewing that this weekend.  Also, hanging the frames on the wall.  No other nursery project updates today, but I'll get pics as soon as we have progress!

Happy St. Patrick's Day - hope you are all enjoying the day however you choose to :)

Triage Visit #1

Well we spent a little time in triage this afternoon...I was feeling dizzy and short of breath this morning and it didn't go away as the work day went on.  I decided to head home and rest, and my friend Sarah convinced me to just go over to triage while I was still at the hospital and get checked out to make sure everything was OK.  They do not mess around - they had me undress and gown up, pee in a cup, and got me all hooked up to the fetal monitor and pulse-ox and blood pressure cuff.  They just watched everything for a little over an hour, and both my vitals and hers seemed just fine.  My blood sugar was Ok too, and they decided that there wasn't any reason to keep us and admit me (which of course I didn't anticipate anyway, but was good to be sent home).  I was never really worried that there was something majorly wrong but Sarah was right - I would have hated to drive all the way back to Pinckney, have something get worse, and have to drive back.  It was better to get checked out and given the all-clear than to be home and wonder if something was wrong.  I'm happy it's nothing like pre-eclampsia or anything, and we got to listen to little girl's heartbeat nice and loud for an hour so that was worth the whole thing.  I came home and crashed and slept all afternoon, which apparently was much needed. Hoping tomorrow is better all around!

Tomorrow we have our maternity photo session, and it's supposed to be around 60 degrees and mostly sunshine tomorrow! Looking forward to relaxing and documenting this part of the experience, and I'm really hoping we can get some shots outdoors because I really like those so much more than just studio shots.  I'll be sure to post as soon as I have something to show!

That's it for tonight - 35 week post to come hopefully tomorrow too :)

34 Weeks (and 3 days...yes I'm counting)

Wwell, we're getting down to the final month of this business...hopefully! This week will mark 35 and 35 - 35 weeks down and 35 days to go.  I think I've reached the point that whenever the end comes it will be welcomed.  Of course I want to make sure she's developed enough and don't want her to have any complications with growth or lung development...but if I could deliver in 3 weeks I'd be most pleased to be honest with you!  I know my body can and will accommodate more growth, but geez it feels like I'm close to max capacity now! And, discouragingly, I noticed two small purple-y stretch marks forming on the underside of the belly today...which means I'm sure there are more to come :( I was hoping to make it through without any, but doesn't look like that is going to happen. I know 50% of pregnant women get at least some, and it's a badge of motherhood and all that, but I could have done without them nonetheless. At least our professional maternity photos are this Thursday at 35 weeks on the dot, and hopefully I won't get any more before then, so the belly will still look good in pics! (Oh vanity, how I love thee).   Here she is covered up for the week: 

34 weeks + 3 days

I think we are more or less getting down to the last vital things we need to have and do before she arrives.  The nursery is coming together, and I'll give it its very own post for the big reveal once all the components are in place soon.  Our chair should be scheduled to arrive in the next 2 weeks or so, and the wall projects are just about complete.  The crib skirt is the last big sewing project, and I just didn't have the gusto to do it by myself this weekend.  I did work on these, though:

The collage of frames will go on the wall above the crib.  So springy and bright, and yet sophisticated, charming and still clean lines! 

I also finished the DIY altered lampshade project using the Cricut: 

I made the ruffle trim using 1 1/4" grosgrain ribbon and pleating it by hand, fixing each pleat with hot glue in between.  Then just hot glued it around the top and bottom of the shade, overlapping the seam at the back.   For the inside, I used the Cricut cartridges "A Child's Year" and "Give a Hoot" and cut out silhouettes of children at play and a whimsical butterfly border.  Then, using spray adhesive on one side of each cut-out, I fixed them to the inside of the shade! You see them mostly when the lamp is on, and when it's off you just pretty much see the ribbon ruffle :) So cute, if I do say so myself! 

And, apparently the animals approve of this space...as long as it is all for them! It is just for them, right?

Winnie has since been banished from claiming the co-sleeper, because that's really a habit I do not want to encourage.  In fact, it kind of freaks me out and I'm not sure what to do to keep her out of the baby's sleeping spaces.  Cat owners, any suggestions?  Right now I just have it loaded with some bags of hand-me-downs, but that's obviously a temporary solution.  The co-sleeper will be moved into our room beside the bed, but the bedroom needs major cleaning and reorganizing first...see below. 

I think the "Nesting" is kicking up a notch from just nursery prep and taking up 100% brain space occupied to thinking/list making about what needs to get purchased/done to actual housekeeping tasks that have been put off too long.  This is not news, but I'm a pretty terrible housekeeper.  I love clean, fresh spaces, but honestly I just prefer if someone else does it for me, and if not, then I don't mind living in various states of squalor that much (evidently). Gross. Well, those little things that I usually put off for months (the grody dust built up on the cold air return vent over our bed? yeah...all I had to do was wipe that with a damp cloth. 6 months ago) are finally irritating me enough to get themselves done.  Today I scrubbed the shower and tub (like even got the orange rust stains off), cleaned the grout around the base of the toilet, and washed the shower curtain liner.  Tasks which a normal person might do once a week, or perhaps twice a month, sure...but these are typically Mt. Everest proportion tasks that I feel quite accomplished about today, especially seeing as how they had me work up a sweat and become short of breath! (Let's be honest, getting out of a chair does about the same, but we'll just skim over that part).  Anyway, hopefully this house will still be spring clean by the time little girl arrives - particularly if she listens to the first paragraph and comes in 3 weeks - the shower might still be clean in 3 weeks, right?

Smith Family Baby Shower

Today was a beautiful day - not because of the weather, which was in fact pretty much the telltale "Lion" of March with rain/freezing rain to start the day, and snow snow snow to end it - but because our little lady was once again showered with love and warmth from the Smith side of the family.  I couldn't feel more honored to have such a loved and welcome space in this family - they have opened their arms, hearts and homes to me and my own family from the very beginning, and feeling the love they already share for our little girl is just amazing.  Tryn and Matt's Aunt Sal hosted just such a wonderful day - amazing food, homemade cake (yeah, gonna go ahead and just buck the glucometer today...), happy company, and so many lovely gifts.  My heart is already bursting and I can't imagine how I will feel when my little baby girl is actually here, and the love from this family will be tangible.

I didn't get pictures of the glorious spread of food on my camera, although I know it was indeed documented by someone.  I will share some of the shots from the day that I did get on my own camera though. I had to crack up at the little trio of paparazzi in front of me while opening gifts - there are at least 4 cameras worth of shots from today! All of the gifts were so thoughtful, and I don't have shots of each of them on here, but know that they are all loved and will be cherished and used!!

So fun to have all the little ones here today! Trenton, Gabrielle, Jaime, Cal, and Autumn (supervised by Terrah and Marsha) 

Who's SO big? Cal!! 

Me and Tryn 

Papa, paparazzi! 

It was all very exciting for a while, but then she realized the party wasn't really for her...

Sarah and Calvin

My two beautiful co-hostesses 

Thank you , thank you, thank you to everyone who was here today, and of course to those of you who couldn't make it in person.  I love being a part of this family, and I can't wait to add another one to the clan!! We are in love with every single thing, and I am so excited for the little lady to arrive to put everything to use :) Everything will all be much cuter with her using it than it is with me modeling them! 

33 Weeks - Can we call it the Home Stretch yet? At least the 7th Inning Stretch?

33 weeks, 7 to go until the little lady is scheduled to arrive.  Holy crap that's less than two full months! We are slowly but surely getting things checked off our to-do lists, both major and minor.  I typed out a tentative birth plan last night, and once Matt and I have the chance to go over it together, I'll discuss my feelings on the matter in more detail here.  We have started talking about a pediatrician, but we haven't yet made a decision on that.  Our childbirth prep class is scheduled, and hopefully little one does not decide to come early or we won't have the chance to attend as I'll be 36 and 37 weeks for those classes!  The nursery is starting to take shape, as we now have the crib mattress in place, one curtain panel done and curtain rod hung, furniture mostly painted, and plans for wall decor and a few other touches taking place in my already crowded little head as I type.  Our chair hasn't been delivered, but it should arrive by the end of this month.  I have some projects to work on this weekend with my mom's help - at least finish the other curtain, and possibly start/finish(?) the crib skirt.  Here are some sneak peek pics of the current state of things:

 Closet in stages of organization

 Dresser/Changer and one curtain panel (cupboard door is actually on as of today)

Close of up curtain

We are also checking things off the "must-haves" list of baby prep items.  Getting the cloth diaper stash ready and pre-washed soon, and filling in the back up supply of disposables a little at a time.  I am definitely starting to feel like things will all be ready by the time she's here and ready to come home, and that's a big relief! I mean, basically, she needs a few onesies, blankets, diapers and mah boobs for the first little while, and those are all things we can safely say we have covered! My sweet friend from work is bringing over a load of baby gear this weekend including the co-sleeper for our room, and back ups of many items to have at Mark's for when she has Grandpa time over there.  I think we'll be in pretty good shape with gear very soon! The wonderful Smith family hosted another BEAUTIFUL shower today (pics to come in another post), and my lovely Peds and Transplant Social Work friends are both throwing work showers next week! Needless to say we are overwhelmed with love and support for this little one, and I seriously mean it when I say we could not be as prepared as we are without all of you.   SO much love, it melts my heart!  

We had our 33 week appt with the midwife on Thursday, and everything seems to be going well from her point of view right now, too.  The fundal height is right on track, which means more or less baby is growing on track (which we knew from the u/s last week).  Her heartbeat is steady and strong, and her movements have been out of this world in the past week! You can now see my entire belly moving when she readjusts her little legs and feet!

My weight gain is stable - I haven't gained any in the past 3 weeks and so far I'm up approximately 14 lbs.   In the past week, I've gotten probably the best compliment any pregnant lady wants to hear, not once or twice, but three times - "You can't even tell you're pregnant from the back!"  :) As unwieldy and off-kilter as I feel sometimes at this point, it is nice to know that others don't seem to experience my profile the same way I do! We have scheduled a maternity photo session and I will be 35 weeks at that point - so some real ripe belly pics are coming your way soon! Here's our at home shot for this week:

33 wks 2 days

Overall, I'm feeling that even though there is still a lot to complete, we have good plans and will make a little progress every week, and before we know it she will be here! I'm hoping every day for continued stability with the GD and no insulin, but overall just for a healthy and safe delivery whenever she decides to arrive.  I'm also hoping to find some time for Matt and I to spend as just a couple in these last few weeks, before our lives are changed forever. We have a few movies we'd like to see at the Michigan Theater, and hopefully the weather cooperates and we can go on some walks outside together too.  It's very exciting from here out...I'm sure the next few weeks are going to be a blur!